radiantshadow (radiantshadow) wrote,

twilight zone

the past week has changed my reality dramatically. the short list, is that i changed work sections and a dear friend contacted me and finally accepted some help that i was offering. i guess that it is only two things.

the work section thing was more of a surprise, because i didn't realize how much it was bothering me. and the thing is, that i was transferred for a disciplinary reason. i committed, what i have been calling an ethical violation against two other Marines. As a side note, i really don't care that i am in trouble over it because i did write and say what said and wrote(i'm like that, i'll take responsibility for what i do *ahem*). but when my MSGT told me how disappointed he was and all that, and told me that i was being transferred, i all of a sudden got happy.

it was weird. i went from being sad at disappointing him to extraordinarily happy at leaving in the matter of a few seconds.

then i reported into my new unit and all of sudden, i felt like i was back in the Marine Corps. I didnt feel like a bastard, unwanted piece of shit that was just dropped on a unit that didnt want me. they actually didn't know that i was coming, but when they saw the orders, they just kinda accepted and welcomed me.

It was like the world all of a sudden righted itself and the fog of the twilight zone disappeared and i could breathe again. it was weird. i should have been disturbed when they asked me why my pft was so low, i said basically everything, and the previous new guy laughed and stated, "thats gonna change". but i'm not disturbed, not scared. eager. I'm home. they have a Sergeant, Corporals, even a Warrant Officer. (in my previous shop, for a while it was about 6 lance's and a MSGT, then a few months later a SSGT showed up, and yes that did suck. alot.)


everything is different. i didn't realize how hard the past 6 months have been. how much stress that place put on me. how much i put on myself. how depressed i've been.

everything looks different now. i went to brunch this morning, and i felt as if i could finally breathe.

everything just seems different now.

i can start breathing again.

i'm home.

yes i listened to alot of music writing this...

Over the Rainbow from the album "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" by Edward Shearmur & Jane Monheit

I Can Only Imagine from the album "Undone" by MercyMe

No One Else from the album "Throne Room - Live DVD" by CeCe Winans

Superman from the album "Wow Gospel 2003 - disc 1" by Vickie Winans

Hold Me Now from the album "The Nu Nation Project" by Kirk Franklin

Diamonds from Sierra Leone from the album "Diamonds from Sierra Leone (Remix) - Single" by Kanye West featuring Jay-Z

God's Will from the album "Martina" by Martina McBride

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