radiantshadow (radiantshadow) wrote,

  • Music:

A letter to a dear friend.


Why me.

That is the question. well actually it should be phrased why am i like this ? I once knew someone that used to call me Mr. Opposite. Not quite, but she was almost there.

I am a person of extremes.

I can be lazy in the extreme, or highly motivated. I can either not care any at all, or i get totally engulfed. That is the current problem that I am battling. But then there is the thought, "if my only crime was to care to much .... ". What then ? Or rather what now ?

I am reading a book, "The Soul of A Chef" by Michael Ruhlman. In it the author points out that to say that you are doing your best is not enough, or rather that it is an untruth. That you can always do better, move faster, be more precise. That to be your best, is like being perfect. It is a moving target which ultimately you should never catch.

I care, I love, I am intensely loyal and highly focused. Maybe to much ? That has always been a problem for me, that I am simply not good at moderation. In anything, it goes back to the issue of extremes. All or nothing. Nothing is just that.

All is absolutely everything.

I need you.

I need our friendship ... I have precious few.

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