Today was a better day than yesterday, but it was also a busier day. We had to report as usual for work, then had to rush off to an inspection, rush back to work, then when i got done with work i was finally allowed to go to chow. I could have gone to chow immediatly after the inspection, but there was a proficency type thingy that i want to make sure i got done before the shift ended so i went to work first.
So when i asked to go to chow, i asked if i could go after we finished and this person who from this point forward will be called JB, said that she would just wait the 30 minutes that I was going to wait and go when i went.
Now i will take a few sentences to explain something. First, I have learned to pay attention to the little voices in my head, they usually get real loud if they think danger is near, there are voices and bells and alarms and red flashing lights and sirens all going "DANGER DANGER DANGER ! ! ! ! !" but this time there was none of that, this time the little voice was there, but it was real quiet and there was a alarm of sorts, just a real soft ding. Not as much a danger warning, but more of just alerting me to an anomaly.
You see, no one who has ever.... well i shouldn't say no one / ever, but few people would volunteer to wait around for me to go eat. Reason being is that I am the type of person who is perfectly comfortable with silence. I can sit at a table with one other person or 20 people for hours and never say a word. I can be in a crowded room of people, stare at a wall and ignore them all, and be perfectly happy in my own little world that i have constructed in my head. Not to be rude, I am just not a fan of crowds or conversation. And if i dont have anything to contribute, that i think is useful, I just wont. *shrug* I usually get accused of being antisocial, or mad, or upset or something negative like that. When in actuality, I could care less.
And I think that JB knows / knew this because we had gone to chow before both the two of us and the two of us and one other. And that has happened, both times. there are times when i feel like talking, but the opposite is the norm. I just dont feel like opening my mouth.
At the point in this ramble.... I just want to say thanks to JB, I needed that.
You see, another reason that i dont talk to much is that i dont like to explain myself. When i worked in the IT field (Information Technology) I wouldnt talk about my work to non-techies. people like whatever girl i was dating at the time or my mom, i mention those to entities because they often had trouble with me refusing to talk about my work. Same for the Marine Corp. I dont like talking about it to non-Marines. Because you can pretend to understand. But you cant. And to me, to pretend to understand, is as much an insult as saying that you understand.
You see, JB talked to me about the stuff that she noticed me doing wrong in air traffic control, why it was wrong, what to do to fix it and what the consequences were of not fixing what desperately needed to be fixed. That little voice that I alluded to earlier ? This is what i was expecting, because people had been talking me to about the massive screw ups that had occured the day before and JB is one of the people that I learn alot from so I just kinda figured.
And then she went far beyond "the call of duty". Then she just talked to me. About anything and everything. Basic stuff that two people who dont really know each other outside of name and rank might talk about. She put things back into perspective and just kinda got me back on track. I still have a lot of work to do, and I still may get revocated, but I am not anywhere near as depressed about it anymore. After dealing with business, she took care of one of her Marines (I am not one of "her" Marines, but we are all responsible for each other). And she probably did not even realize it ?
Basic Human Kindness. Maybe I will never understand.
Thanks JB, every once in a while someone comes along to restore my confidence in the human race.
Damn Jarheads. Love'em. All of em.
Including the pair that woke me up this evening in my roommates rack doing god knows what ... and then they fell asleep in the rack ... well my roommate got good pictures of them sleeping in the rack...
but that is another story for another time.