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Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing...
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
hello is anyone out there ?
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I've spent most of the after trying to figure out how to do this...

when family asks about significant others, I have always told them that when they need to know something i will tell them.

welllll... now i kinda have to tell them, that they have someone that they need to meet.

pictures enclosed, may i introduce you to miss esther.

best friend, partner in crime, adventurous spirit, little a d d and ocd, goof ball extraordinaire. she is my inspiration.

i plan on one day marrying this girl.

so and yes, a meeting is being attempted at being arranged, but life keeps getting in the way...

(and yes she does read this and yes i know that she is going to see what i wrote above about getting married and no she wont be surprised and yes you should read into that)

















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i havent posted anything real here in a while. that thought occurred to me friday, oddly while i was driving.

I just ended a fex, field exercise. wasnt that long and really not that hard, just kinda did my job.

am prepping for this deployment, and while it is real to me. it isnt. not yet. not until i step off the plane if i know me. still waiting. am worried about the family and the little lady. me it will me easy, just do what i do with the people that i have meshed with over the past 5ish months. family i will just not be here no more but will be in a combat zone doing god knows what. doesnt scare me, but them...well dad was in korea. and while this isnt that and that isnt this, still see my dad worrying.

i know, you are saying he's your dad and she's your mom and that other her is your sister, of course they are going to worry.... just dont want them to. foolish i know but still, "I" will be surrounded by a few hundred Marines. statistically it is safer where i am going than on the nations highways...sad but true.

just rambling i suppose.

blah.
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all is better :)
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6 mile beach runs at midnight are supposed to make things make sense...

didnt quite work this time...
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at times like this i wonder... maybe i should just remain single for the rest of my life.

weary, tired of fighting, tired of being hurt.

weary.
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making a list...

laptop
ipod
prescription sunglasses
20 - 100+ acres of land (where where where ?)
log cabin home
two dogs, a german shephard and something else, maybe a chow chow or something


ok so some of those acquisitions are a little more major than some of the other ones...

more later (including an explanation)
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hi dad.

i know you check this thing regularly, was just wondering who all was out there... ess dont be shy.

what all has happened in the last month...

my realization that if it wasnt for the Marine Corps the land that is camp lejeune would be only one small step away from swamp land. that explains a lot. it may have been obvious to a lot of people but i just caught on. hey the ground is squishy, it musta just rained...

it is surprisingly easy to learn to go to bed to the sound of mortars and arti and machine gun fire.

as a side note, as a symbol of how much i have changed, i was actually happy to see a range officer load his rifle... long story but he was transporting some weapons and there is something satisfying see rounds being sent into the chamber.

am currently on the rifle range freezing my butt off. its cool though.

should pickup Sgt on the first as long as i qualify on said range.

have been doing a lot of training. rifle range, CMP shoot (Combat Marksmanship Program). essentially the difference between the two is that the rifle range is just teaching people to shoot given perfect (or nearly so) conditions from 200, 300 and 500 yards sitting, kneeling, prone and / or standing. you use a rather unrealistic sling to stabilize the weapon and only fire one shot per minute for the most part (10 rounds in ten minutes, that sorta thing).

CMP is more combat oriented and is from the 50, 36 and 5 yard line i think. all standing and / or walking forward ... think walking down a city block or across a field while trying to kill that guy over there. hammer pairs, control pairs, box drills, remedial drills, burst drills, what else, some other crap i am forgetting ... they are all different engagement techniques and / or firing drills.

gas chamber - previously mentioned, enter, jumping jacks, pushups, take the mask off, what are these fuckers waiting for, i dont smoke(smokers feel it less) this shit is stinging me, put it back on, choke, gag, good gawd why did i reenlist ???, exit, snot flowing, eyes watering, free at last thank god i am free at last...

heat training... i think that stands for something of the nature of HMMWV Egression Assistance Trainer ??? essentially it is how to get out of a HMMWV (hummer) quickly if the need arises (eg it flips over and some a--hole is shooting at you or you are underwater etc etc) havent done it yet... we shall see.

requalify swim... havent done it yet, but go get dressed, ok jump off this cool but freakin high dive board, and swim to the edge, ok good job take all this gear and this rifle and swim to the other side of the pool, GOOD JOB NOW SWIM BACK !!! !@#$%^^&*( grumble grumble, good job now take all your own gear and all of this guys gear and this guy and tow it all (him included) over there....GOOD NOW COME BACK!!!! grumble grumble, good job now see that guy over there ... um you mean the one that can swim like a squid and looks kinda like a cross between mike tyson and a shark ??? ... yeah him go drag him back here, but be careful he is going to try to drown you ... go lower the depth of the pool by about 6 inches by gulping it down and nearly drown and towed back in by aforementioned creature of the sea hacking and coughing up a lung and above mentioned quantity of good ole H 2 O along the way ...good times...

its really chilly here... cant say cold as some people know true cold and would slay me for calling low 60's cold.

i got two roommates in a room smaller than the one i had at HQMC. we are really tripping over each other.

ermmmm ...

other interesting details are on the way i am sure... chaos still reins, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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there is something else that i have neglected to mention in this journal...

there is a person in my life now, someone very special who has completely taken me and made me hers and given herself to me and i just want to let the world know.

Her name is Esther and i love her dearly. And i just wanted to shout that out there.

so that i dont have to answer the same question 30 times (which is part of the reason that i started this thing so long ago) we met in the airport, she was having computer trouble and the gallant US Marine came to her assistance (the whining was getting to me, i didn't really want to be their to begin with) and we actually got along. one thing became another and here i am typing all this madness into the computer.

*sigh* am waiting for her to get out of class...

what to do now... i cant go to bed till i talk to her...
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So there I was, making a run to Bojangles Chicken around 1415 when i had to be back on base at 1500 for a formation and what gets in my way ?

A train loaded with tanks and other tracked vehicles... dunno if it was coming or going....

just thought that that was interesting...I am leaving out the part of the morning when we were doing side straddle hops (jumping jacks) in the gas chamber. that was equally interesting.

all went well though, food, formation, gas chamber (hate that place). nothing much to report.

life aboard Camp Lejeune continues... there were those booms a few minutes ago, looked at my roommate and said thunder or artillery ? artillery. ooh rah ok :)
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